Anonymous asked: Flizzy my girl just left me and said she had another boyfriend for at least a month now, she just "forgot" to tell me.... bruh what the fuck do I do now, she acts like we never even met
aiight heres what u do.. grab a set of keys and a strong knife
wait till aboutt….november 23rd 24th (ill tell u why in a sec)
around 2-3 am
park your car 4 blocks from where she lives cause u dont want no one to see u
find her car, key the fuck out that shit not like one ring make it look like a 1 yr old was scribbling on that bitch
do that on the hood and all the doors and the windows too
then u take the knife pop all 4 tires
… might as well take the hub caps too..
then u get up outta there run make sure you’re not being followed get in your car and go home
reason i told u to do it november 23rd is u just fucked up christmas fam
she gonna need to repair all that shit she aint gonna have no money for christmas gifts right before black friday
in turn this leads to
her little cousins hating her
her siblings hating her
cause they aint get gifts
she gets sad :( and cant enjoy christmas
and the first person her friends are gonna say is i bet it was your ex
when she calls you u gotta say something like
her: andrew did you key my car
"aint nobody thinking bout you i got so many hoes now u leaving me was a blessing i got hoessss… i got hella hoes.. i got hoes "
i hate yall
This is so petty lmao
so is forgetting to tell her boyfriend she had a new boyfriend lol
Anonymous asked: What's the weirdest thing someone has told you they masturbated with?
Vacuum cleaner handle
Rat tail combs
Beef hot dogs
The most popular answer are pillows. I’ve always wondered how you can grind your bare pussy on a pillow and get it all wet and creamy and then sleep on the bitch afterward. Don’t you have caked up pussy secretions that get all crusty?
I couldn’t put my head on a pillow after jzzing on it
It’s defiled after that.
"I couldn’t put my head on a pillow after jizzing on it"
Different pillows for different uses.
So what you saying is you have a special masturbation pillow.
Do you have that pillow on your bed with the other pillows or do you store it somewhere else.
Just sitting in the corner smelling like pussy.
I wonder if the other pillows tease it.
"Gary sitting over there looking depressed with pussy crust on his forehead"
**other pillows simultaneously erupt into laughter**
*started my diet 2 hrs ago, did 50 pushups and 100 situps, am also feelin the burn tbh, wow i actually like chicken salad, i dont feel so heavy, ahh everybody should get on my level tbh, woo shit (squeezes stomach) them abs? ok wow this clean eatin thing cool im not even hungry*
*turns on tv*
when ur eating dinner at your friends house
and their parents start arguing
and you want to ask for the salt
but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce